Healing your broken heart after divorce

While divorce can upend your life, it doesn’t have to destroy you.

No one walks down the aisle thinking that they’ll be divorced someday. However, relationships can fail, and, while divorce can upend your life, it doesn’t have to destroy you. Many people can live full lives and find new relationships after divorce, as long as they take the time to heal themselves properly and don’t rush into anything.

Here are some tips for how to balance your life and heal your heart after divorce.

Develop a support system
You might have many mutual friends with your ex-partner but you’ll also have people in your life that you know you can rely on. Family members, colleagues or friends from before you met your partner can all help you get back on your feet. Surround yourself with people that love you and tell them you need help.

Let go of the guilt
Divorce is painful for a number of reasons and many people experience feelings of guilt for “not trying hard enough” to make the relationship work. It’s time to forgive yourself and move on to a better life.

Seek therapy
A therapist can help you make sense of your relationship and what happened to cause the break-up. Therapy can also provide you with a helpful breathing space where you can process your feelings and help yourself heal. You can also receive practical advice for how to cope with your changing life.

Simplify your life
Whatever way you look at it, you have been dealt a blow and it’s time to recuperate. If you’re struggling to keep up the life you used to live, try to prioritize. Write down the things you absolutely need to do and seek help from friends with the rest. Don’t try to be Superwoman – it’s perfectly acceptable to need to spend more energy on recovering.

Listen to yourself
Only you will know how long it will take to grieve for your relationship. If anyone tells you to pull yourself together or urges you to get back on the dating scene, kindly but firmly tell them that you will decide. Deciding to join eHarmony.co.uk might be a great idea at some point, but only when you’re ready.

Be positive
Even though you may feel that your life has fallen apart, the future will still hold plenty to look forward to. Whether you meet a new love (plenty of divorced people find success with online dating) or create a new life just for yourself, you will feel OK once again.

Poppy Watt