In Search of You – by Patsy Freeman – ‘In Search of You’ is a story, about grief and loss but also hope for wellbeing, and how our culture deals with bereavement. Patsy hopes it will enable readers throughout the world to feel okay about their topsy-turvy feelings and emotions surrounding grief.
Grieving can often be a roller-coaster ride that continues far longer than the decreed one year.
Born in Dublin, Patsy Freeman moved to England when she was eleven. She initially trained as a state registered nurse. She also holds a degree in psychology and an advanced certificate in counselling (with NLP & hypnotherapy). After working for a number of years in preventive health as a health visitor, she joined a GP practice in a trial to assess the benefits of counselling. More recently she explored shamanic studies, which culminated in a visit to an indigenous tribe in Ecuador. Patsy lives in Gloucestershire, and since the death of her daughter in 2013, gives talks on the healing power of grief.
“In 2013 my youngest daughter, Jasmine, died of breast cancer. She was 39. I was heartbroken and grief-stricken and wrote letter after letter to her in utter desperation. Writing to her, helped me feel closer to her, so I kept doing it. Putting it all down on the page kept the grief moving through me and helped me feel closer to my daughter. The writing was a very instinctive response to her death and the confusing events that had led up to it.”
“As the months rolled by, I struggled with how inept we seem to have become at handling grief, be it our own or someone else’s. Silence, stoicism and pressing on with life seemed to be the order of the day, but since I was unable to engage in any of those things, I found grieving a deeply lonely affair.”
“My longing is that grief will be seen as a normal, healthy emotional response to loss.”
“The feelings and emotions surrounding grief are often very intense, and they may well include anger and a good dose of guilt. All this is quite normal, but it really does help to have the right support in place, as grief calls for a feeling response, rather than the logical approach of the mind.”
“In the process, may we restore grief as an important and necessary part of being human, both for our emotional, mental and physical health, as well as for the lifting of the loneliness that is prevalent in so many of our communities.”
As you can only imagine this was an emotional read. What I have taken away is the importance of ongoing communication with those coping with grief. A human response we are generally inexperienced with.
We don’t talk about, celebrate or discuss grief enough and the subject is often thought of as taboo, so for many a subject matter is pretty much avoided.
Those struggling with loss can find comfort in remembering and talking about their loved ones, I find this uplifting to know and a lesson I will certainly put into practice.