Single mum fatigue
Hello Patricia
I'm a single mother of a gorgeous, energetic and determined 6 year old little boy, who I love dearly. However, there are times when I feel a great sense of fatigue, sometimes physical, often emotional, when I feel like my tank is running on empty.
I'm sure this must happen to most parents at some time, regardless of whether they are happily married, or happily divorced, like me (feel free to add all the other permutations in there!)
At times I'd just like someone else to come in the door at the end of the day and take charge, just for an hour or so, make the decisions, play, cook, chat, read stories, bath, debate over 'tv' time, what's for tea, which friend can come to play, help with homework etc etc
As this doesn't happen, what tips do you have to help me recharge my batteries and feel less overwhelmed with dealing with the majority of the parenting responsibilities?
Looking forward to your reply
Helen
Hi Helen, First of all, it
Hi Helen,
First of all, it may help to know that you're not alone. Most of the single mums I talk to tell me that, although being a lone parent can be a really enriching and positive experience, it's full of challenges and often leaves them feeling exhausted with the burden carrying so much of the responsibilities themselves.
The difference between those who thrive and those who struggle seems to be the support network they have around them. I would encourage you to accept help from as many sources as possible. You say that at the moment you don't get a lot of day to day help, so have a think about whether there's any more your friends and family could do for you. Could someone have your son over every now and then after school, or come round at bath time to lend a hand?
You would probably really benefit from some adult company; getting out of the house and spending time with people your own age will instantly help you to feel more refreshed. If you can't afford a babysitter, you could maybe come to an arrangement with another family where you have each other's kids occasionally for the night. That would mean you could get out more easily without having to worry about the cost.
If your energy levels are low, take a look at your diet. Make sure you're getting plenty of fresh fruit and veg - this will benefit your son, too, especially if you eat together every night. Regular exercise will help to lift your mood and help with stamina. And of course, getting enough sleep will help you, too.
Finally, don't forget to inject a little fun and glamour into your life; these can so easily be neglected when it's just you and your child. When you're renting a DVD, choose a comedy over a weepie. Treat yourself to a favourite chocolate bar or bath oil or- if you're feeling flush - a bunch of flowers. Wear your best clothes on the school run. Put on make up and some decent underwear. Anything that makes you feel special will lift your spirits.
And don't forget to let me know how you get on.
Patricia.